In today’s world, where technological advances have greatly altered the way we interact, and where stress is becoming omnipresent, communication is becoming more important than ever. Contradictorily, however, most of us no longer spend enough time listening to each other. Developing our listening skills, however, helps us to build healthy relationships with those around us. It also enables us to find compromises in the face of everyday problems, ensure understanding and resolve – or even avoid – conflicts.

It can also benefit us in virtually every aspect of our lives. At work, for example, active listening reduces the risk of misinterpretation. At home, it helps build children’s self-confidence so they can become independent young adults later on. So, how do we develop this skill? It starts with a comprehensive understanding of what is expected of you.

Listening skills: what are they?

In the business world, as in everyday life in general, listening skills are one of the most important skills to have. And that’s a fact! Nevertheless, some of us still haven’t quite got to grips with exactly what it means. While others simply don’t know the difference between listening and hearing. But the truth is that hearing doesn’t necessarily imply active listening. It’s simply our ability to distinguish an audible sound. The organ of hearing is therefore put to work. When you really listen, on the other hand, you’re adding to the act the will to understand the message being conveyed.

Let’s take the example of a mother who hears her baby crying. Her child’s cries reach her ears, so she “hears”. But when she assimilates them with hunger, a form of listening occurs because she has given meaning to what she has heard. This is where aptitude becomes a communication tool, enabling us to understand and interpret what we perceive through hearing. This is how it can help us create a better relationship with others. Combined with effective strategies such as transactional analysis, listening skills can also help us explain other people’s attitudes towards us.

HOW USEFUL IS LISTENING AT WORK?
While listening skills can be extremely useful on a personal level, they are all the more important in a professional environment. As an employee, it’s essential that your ideas are heard. And active listening can play a major role in this. How would you put it? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? Well, no! And for good reason: communication is a two-way street. Whether horizontal (employee – employee) or vertical (employee – employer). So it’s not enough for you to know how to give instructions effectively, it’s also essential to be “assertive” and, above all, to know the difference between listening and hearing.

Listening skills are intrinsically linked to transactional analysis. But in a nutshell, it involves deciphering a message in every form of communication you encounter. This involves words, of course, but also body and para-verbal language. It’s an excellent ally for adapting your communication posture to the profile of your interlocutor. It’s one of the essential interpersonal skills needed to become a good manager. It is also what will enable you to be benevolent towards your team and reinforce cohesion within it.

SO HOW CAN YOU STRENGTHEN YOUR LISTENING SKILLS?
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have. It will have a major impact on your productivity at work. And on the quality of your relationships with others. As a guide, we generally listen for four different reasons. To know for :

To obtain information;
To understand;
Learn new things;
But also for pleasure.

However, honing active listening isn’t always easy. Daily pressures and demands often overwhelm us, leaving little time and energy to focus on the difference between listening and hearing. While coaching sessions with a professional can help you remedy this situation, there are a few practical steps you can take right now. First and foremost, however, you should always remain neutral (never judgmental). This can also help you with transactional analysis.

GETTING RID OF BAD HABITS
Most of us can safely say that we have excellent listening skills. But the reality is that keeping quiet isn’t enough. It won’t be enough to avoid the risk of misunderstandings. Accepting criticism well, dealing with people’s feelings and trying to understand what others are thinking through empathy, etc., the imperatives are many. What’s more, even with the best of intentions, we may not succeed. Like when we :

Have trouble concentrating on what we’re hearing;
Think too much about what we’re going to say next, rather than trying to understand first;
find it hard to accept that our skills are being questioned;
We try to give advice too soon, or suggest solutions to problems before the other person has fully explained his or her point of view;
Change the conversation as the interaction has brought out some new ideas in us;
…

That’s why we need to get rid of these bad habits first, then refine our listening skills.

HERE ARE A FEW TIPS THAT MAY COME IN HANDY
Make eye contact while the other person is talking. But don’t be too insistent.
Limit distractions. Put your phone away. Be present and attentive. Banish superfluous thoughts. Take note of the other person’s tone of voice and body language.
Pay attention to what is being said, not to what you want to say next. Never interrupt him while he’s speaking.
Don’t be afraid to remain silent when necessary. You don’t always have to respond or comment. Especially as an occasional pause can provide both parties with an opportunity to gather more ideas.
Encourage the other person to come up with ideas and solutions before giving your own. Ask questions. Enrich the conversation.
Make sure you’ve understood everything. “Let me recap to make sure I’ve got it right. This is an easy way to clear up any confusion and improve your listening skills.