As human beings, the only constant in our lives is change. It’s an amorphous subject that we don’t think about because it manifests itself subtly in so many ways. Whether you’re starting or ending a relationship, moving house, getting a new job or losing a loved one, change – whether good or bad – is a source of stress. Perhaps it’s for this reason (and the fear that goes with it) that we often get into the habit of letting things happen… of simply waiting for them to pass. What’s more, when we feel as if the universe is against us, we become tense. We feel as if we’ve lost control.

Needless to say, it’s an unsettling feeling. Fortunately, however, there are steps we can take to regain control and stop being content to endure our lives.

Suffering through life: an evil that needs to be fought

Suffering through life instead of living it to the full: something many of us have in common. But what exactly does this mean? In a nutshell, it describes a situation in which a person clearly recognizes that they don’t feel happy with the life they’re living. Despite this, they’re not willing to change things. Most of the time, they prefer – consciously or unconsciously – to find excuses not to take action. And yet, everyone says they want to live a great life, have healthy relationships and feel good about themselves.

But how many people are actually willing to work day after day to achieve these goals? If you pay close attention to what’s going on around you, you’ll quickly realize that most people indulge in this kind of life, which brings them neither happiness nor unhappiness. There are many reasons for this, including :

Fear of failure or making mistakes;
Fear of other people’s judgment;
Uncertainty;
Fear of the unknown and of change – a natural human survival instinct;
Lack of self-confidence or perceived resources;
Fear of responsibility; etc.

Similarly, self-victimization is another potential cause of a person’s willingness to accept life as it is. An individual who plays the role of victim usually expresses a great deal of negativity and believes that his or her problems are always caused by someone or something else. She’s sure that her own actions have nothing to do with it. Worst of all, she actually believes this, and therefore feels totally powerless. It goes without saying that it’s impossible to take control of your own life under these conditions.

So, what can you do to stop suffering your life?

Before you can stop being a victim of your life, you first need to assess your real needs. This is what will enable you to identify exactly what kind of life you want to lead. Especially since most of the most important things you do in your daily life come down to the decisions you make. You can go one way or the other, but in the end you’ll have to make your choice. That means facing some tough questions. This is where personal introspection comes in. The answers and actions that any person takes will enable him or her to become a player in his or her own life.

Some examples of actions to help you

How do you imagine your life in 5 years’ time? Will you be doing the same things you’re doing today? If not, take the initiative to make positive changes happen. Stop self-sabotaging your successes and start acting in your own best interests now. Likewise, make a real point of living for yourself rather than letting others guide your choices.
And if today were your last day, what would you do? Would you waste your time playing games on your phone and commenting on your friends’ photos on Facebook, or would you call your loved ones to arrange a lunch? Would you be more active, or simply take time out for a break? How would your day be different if you did? Stopping enduring your life and living it to the full starts with small gestures.
What motivates you? This is an important question, because it helps you identify the reasons why you’re pursuing your dreams. If, for example, you aspired to set up your own business, why do you want to do it? What’s in it for you? Do you want it because of the associated status, or because the salary will enable you to give your family a better life? In short, reminding yourself of your “why” during difficult times will encourage you to stay on track, rather than give up.

STOP SUFFERING LIFE: CHOOSE YOUR ATTITUDE
You may not think about it, but you make a choice as soon as you wake up. You decide how you’re going to face this new day. It’s all about the attitude you choose to adopt. Let’s say you know you have a big problem to deal with today. How can your choice of attitude concretely help you in this circumstance? You can decide to feel overwhelmed right now or, on the other hand, start thinking about scenarios that might help you. Of course, the second option is more likely to be helpful if you want to stop being overwhelmed.

In reality, it’s your thoughts that will guide your choices throughout the experience. And if you approach things positively, you’ll be able to overcome anything. In fact, this is what we mean by a self-fulfilling prophecy, and the way a person uses it will (or won’t) enable him or her to finally take charge of his or her life. Similarly, when something doesn’t go according to plan, all you have to do is assess the situation, then come up with a plan B. In other words, adapt. In other words, adapt. Even when the things you thought would happen don’t, there are steps you can take to influence what happens next. Start coming up with alternatives, evaluate them, choose one and get to work implementing it.