We often hear people say “He or she is far too mature for their age”. Does this mean that maturity necessarily comes with growing up? Some people will tell you yes, others no. But then, how do you know if you’re a mature person yourself? That should be the question. If you’ve come across this article, it’s probably because it’s on your mind. Perhaps someone close to you has told you that you’re too immature? Or maybe your partner has told you it’s time to mature?

But even if this isn’t the case, if the initiative comes from your own reflections, it’s always worth looking into the subject.

First of all, does gaining maturity necessarily come with age?

In truth, it’s not quite as simple as that, since it’s well known that the mind matures with age. Gaining maturity would therefore come with experience and the circumstances in which each individual grew up. The way one has been educated also plays a major role in this process. It could be trauma, a painful childhood experience or even religion and culture. Then comes our reaction to each of these situations we have faced.

As human beings, our actions today have a real impact on what our future will look like tomorrow. If, for example, you learn from your past failures to improve yourself, you’ll certainly be able to become a better person every day. On the other hand, if you give up and choose the position of victim, you won’t be able to progress. Gaining maturity is therefore ultimately a choice that you decide whether or not to make.

How can you tell if you’re immature?

Gaining maturity is only possible if you are aware that you lack it. Several personality tests are available online to help you, if you wish. But in general, immature people have the same character traits and often follow the same pattern. This is undoubtedly also the case if the following statements sound familiar to you.

You have trouble managing your emotions. If you continue to lose your temper at the slightest incident or annoyance, you’re probably immature.
You’re melodramatic. It’s only when you stop believing that every little change in your life causes a huge upheaval that you’ll be mature.
You like to play games. Slamming doors, punching the wall, sulking, choosing emotional abuse, etc. instead of sitting down and talking it through.
You’re impulsive. Gaining maturity means you’re able to take the time to think things through and step back when you need to. If you usually act on impulse, then you’re still a long way from the goal.
All you think about is immediate gratification. Mind you, this doesn’t mean that being mature means not thinking about the present. But if you’re spending all your money on video games and the latest gadgets when you should be saving to finally move out of your parents’ house and get your own apartment, ask yourself this question.
You’re having trouble managing priorities. Gaining maturity means learning to differentiate between what’s important, urgent and a priority. Without a sense of responsibility, this would be impossible.

Gaining maturity: what to do then?

Gaining maturity doesn’t mean you have to become some kind of stoic, hyper-focused robot with super logic. No, that’s not the goal. We all have the right to act a little immaturely from time to time. Not every situation is to be taken seriously. However, there’s a big difference between letting yourself go once in a while and being an immature person. Fortunately, we are a constantly evolving being. So if your goal is to become more mature, it’s entirely possible.

GAINING MATURITY IN LOVE
Take time to work on your emotional autonomy. Gaining maturity in love means above all having self-confidence, enjoying your own company and being independent.
Move forward together. Consider each other’s needs, not just your own. Have common goals or work towards each other’s success. Selfishness and narcissism have no place in a relationship.
Learn the values of trust, respect and sincerity. A fulfilling relationship is one in which you feel good. Excessive jealousy and emotional immaturity hinder this serenity.
Accept the difference. Gaining maturity in love means recognizing that you are two very different people. You can’t force your partner to become like you, to think like you.
Encourage understanding and communication. Examine the situation and find out why your partner is acting the way he or she is, rather than playing psychic and getting angry.

BECOMING MORE MATURE IN LIFE IN GENERAL
Set yourself clear, realistic goals. Think long-term and work towards them.
Be persistent. Never give up. Don’t give up easily. Make every decision a step closer to your dreams.
Develop your listening skills. Don’t be self-centered.
Control your emotions. Never let them get the better of you. Always act calmly and think things through. That’s maturity.
Respect other people’s opinions. You don’t always have to be right. Become more open-minded and tolerant.
Cultivate your self-confidence. Be aware of your skills. Be sure you have the ability to succeed and you will.
Stop complaining all the time. There are no problems, only solutions.
Avoid comparing yourself to others, as this will only feed your jealousy. Instead, focus on your achievements. Keep a gratitude journal if that helps.
Don’t blame your past experiences or a particular person for your failures. Instead, learn to learn from your mistakes. This will strengthen your resilience and help you to grow in maturity.