Have you heard of the Enneagram? It’s a tool that enables us to understand and study a person’s personality. With the help of this figure, we can analyze our own personality and learn more about that of others. The interesting thing about the Enneagram is that we can see that we have a part of each enneatype within us. Yes, we may well possess each of these temperaments. But in the end, there will always be one type profile that is truly dominant in us. Among these personality types is the enneagram type 9. This is the enneatype for people we call peacemakers or mediators.

As their name suggests, peacemakers are constantly seeking peace. They aim to live in harmony with the world, avoiding conflict wherever possible. They are able to see things from all points of view, and so understand the desires of others. But how do they do this? What makes them so nonchalant? Let’s discover the different facets of our mediator friends.

The different characteristics of the enneagram type 9

Have you tried a personality test and come across enneatype 9? Or do you know someone who fits the description? In either case, you’re probably already aware of the following statement: mediators are supportive people. In fact, you won’t find anyone who’s better company or more supportive. And unconditionally! Mediators are so peace-loving that you’d think they’d never disagree with anyone… And they don’t. Well, except with themselves. The qualities of Enneagram Type 9 people may be too good to be true. But like everyone else, these qualities are complemented by a number of small flaws.

THE MEDIATOR’S FINEST QUALITIES
In addition to being creative and imaginative, you’ll be amazed at how easily individuals of the 9e type profile can understand you. These people can easily put themselves in other people’s shoes, such is their best asset. They try to find out what others are thinking, and think about what will follow if they say or do this or that. In this way, Enneagram Type 9 mediators manage to avoid conflict and compromise. But this doesn’t just apply to their relationships with others. Whether it’s in their family, at work or any other group they find themselves in, they’re willing and able to manage any altercations that may exist between other people.

Their ability to listen and understand is such that Neufs know others better than they know themselves. Those around them feel comfortable around them because of their calming nature. They put the needs of others above their own. For Enneagram Type 9s, most decisions and actions depend on the opinion of others.

Another of a mediator’s best virtues is acceptance. They accept others without judging them, no matter what kind of person they are. Optimism is an integral part of their personality. It’s what enables them to see the best in everything and everyone they meet. For them, there’s always something good in everyone, and everything can always turn out well.

MAIN WEAKNESSES OF ENNEAGRAM TYPE 9 MEDIATORS
The mediator’s constant desire to avoid conflict sometimes leads to an internal battle. Indeed, constantly striving to place others’ desires above your own means that you end up never meeting your own needs. We forget ourselves. This creates a kind of conflict within us, because even when we’re tired, we can’t stop. This tendency to repress our opinions and feelings, to not give ourselves importance, to think we’re always inferior… It’s one of the biggest weaknesses of the Enneagram type 9.

If you belong to this enneatype, you have a bad habit of idealizing others. And you probably find it hard to say no to them. Whether for fear of hurting their feelings or to avoid a clash of opinions. What’s more, you don’t like taking credit for yourself. If you do, you’ll lose your self-esteem. Those around you will end up taking you for granted, taking advantage of you and your kindness.

For Nines, expressing discontent is difficult. When they’re upset, Enneagram Type 9s show nothing. They put up with being neglected, sometimes abused. But when they do snap, they can have brief but very violent tantrums. In such situations, their anger is as frightening for those around them as it is for themselves. This self-indulgence and anger can lead to poor eating habits, lack of physical activity or drug and alcohol abuse.

On the other hand, it often leads to procrastination. This happens when he wants to escape unpleasant situations. This leads our enneagram type 9 friend to detach himself from the rest of the world. In fact, many of them are introverts. However, they can also have a social life.

RELATIONSHIPS WITH ENNEATYPE 9
The Nine’s ability to understand and listen makes them excellent companions, whether in friendship or love. They provide comfort and support that you won’t find anywhere else. What’s more, they can easily adapt to any lifestyle. It’s easy for them to adapt to the people around them.

The disadvantage of a relationship with an Enneagram Type 9 is that they always seem to be giving without wanting anything in return. However, in a relationship with a Nine, this is totally false.

The Peacemaker, although he may not always realize it or show it, does have his own desires. When he feels his needs aren’t being met, he won’t say anything about it, preferring instead to walk away. He’s likely to run away from a problem, rather than face up to it and talk about it. He may break down emotionally or mentally when the subject of conversation is unpleasant.

Your enneagram type 9 friend will want to feel close to you, while behaving as if he were totally autonomous. Sometimes, he’ll also have trouble controlling his mood and won’t notice. Other times, he’s aware of it, but won’t want to admit it.

Mediators are also endlessly eager to avoid any kind of conflict. This leads them to a particular fondness for routine, a routine that gives them the peace they crave. They have an enormous fear of change, as it is likely to disturb their comfort and create conflict.

How does one adopt an Enneagram Type 9 personality?

Generally speaking, our personality is shaped by the environment in which we evolve. Childhood plays a key role in who we are as adults. The mediator is someone who grew up feeling unworthy of other people’s attention. There are many reasons for this:

In the siblings, he seemed to be the least gifted, the least praised.
He was never asked his opinion on anything.
Whenever he expressed himself, he was opposed or scolded.

In addition to not daring to externalize feelings, in the enneagram type 9, develop a fear of abandonment and separation. So, to avoid them, they reject their own wishes and focus on satisfying the needs of others. This is also because, as a child, he learned that others are more important. He merges his desires with those of others until he forgets his own. He then acquires a natural empathy that will accompany him throughout his life.

As the individual grows, he runs the risk of no longer knowing himself. His qualities, his feelings, until he no longer even knows what he really wants.

Projections and wings of the enneagram type 9

As we already know, a person’s personality is not limited to a single enneagram. There are so-called projections. They determine how a person reacts when under stress or pressure, and also how that person is when he or she feels safe. On the other hand, each enneatype has wings, the types to which our personality is linked. These are the fruits of the development of our personality as we grow up.

DISINTEGRATION IN 6: THE NINE UNDER PRESSURE
For people with Enneagram personality type 9, avoiding conflict is a priority. At the same time, they avoid getting emotionally involved or talking about themselves. Even so, they can’t hold back and stay that way indefinitely. After a while, they’re no longer able to hide everything that’s bothering them. They begin to adopt the personality of a medium or pathological enneatype 6, and become unstable. They are easily irritated, worry about everything and are constantly on the defensive, constantly complaining and blaming everyone else for what happens to them. Exposed to constant stress, Enneagram Type 9 Peacemakers feel manipulated or controlled. They lose all control over their emotions.

INTEGRATION IN 3: THE BLOSSOMING NINE
When they feel secure, Nines become more open and self-confident. They go so far as to show off all their good sides, just as an average Enneatype 3 would. Then, even if they’re subject to stress, they manage to work efficiently. In fact, it’s by being productive that they can shrug off bigger problems and feel useful. By focusing on their strengths, mediators come to accept their own values. This is the blossoming of the Enneagram Type 9. Then they realize that others don’t see them as invisible. At this point, they no longer hesitate to share their talents and qualities. They become true mediators and peacemakers.

INNER WING 8
The first neighbouring type of enneatype 9. Wing 8 is what helps the Niner become more confident and sociable. It will help him to be more enthusiastic, and he’ll find it easier to make choices and set goals. But beware, the 9w8 could suddenly become a little too stubborn and cold towards those around him.

OUTER WING IN 1
The enneagram type 9 with the wing towards type 1 is the evolution of the personality to become firmer towards themselves. In other words, the peacemaker gradually emerges from his indolence. He may become more idealistic and conciliatory. But on the other hand, by being too self-critical, he or she may also develop a certain shyness.

The instinctive abilities of enneatype 9

There are three instinctual variants on which the Enneagram bases its classification and understanding of a person’s personality. Each enneatype can possess any of these three instinctive abilities. For people belonging to enneagram type 9, there are the 9 :

Conservative: they prefer to stay in their own bubble, even if it means giving a bad impression of themselves. They have their own “comfortable” eating habits and surround themselves with supportive people.
Sexual: they want to merge with nature or the ideal partner, but want to remain independent. This can be a source of conflict! However, they are passionate and dreamers.
Social: different from other nines in that they are sociable, and can become the social cement of a group. They like to be in circumstances where they feel good, while remaining emotionally aloof.

Enneagram type 9: tips for self-fulfillment

Now that you know more about Peacemakers, here are a few tips you can use for your personal development. If you’ve identified yourself in this article, or if you have friends with a type 9 profile whom you’d like to help integrate socially, you might find them useful.

Be introspective and recognize your own problems. You don’t always have to worry about other people’s problems; prioritize your own. You’re not carrying the whole world on your shoulders.
Make time for yourself. Having an enneagram type 9 personality implies that you think you’re not important. But that’s not true! You have so many talents to bring to the table. Take time to discover and cultivate your many talents.
Stop avoiding conflict: easier said than done. But once you’ve regained your self-confidence, you’ll be able to deal with conflict situations.
If you have something to say, say it! That way, you’ll also learn to say no.
Stay away from negative people. They may take advantage of you.
Don’t settle for your comfort zone. Dear Enneagram Type 9 peacemakers, let those around you understand you better! You’ll see that, for them, you’re not invisible at all. Talk to your best friend or therapist about your worries and anxieties.
Help others. If you have someone in your life who displays the characteristics of a Nine, don’t leave them out in the cold. Let them know how important their existence is, help them prioritize themselves and build their self-confidence.

What about you, how was your experience with or as a pacifist?