Do you also feel that sensation of never being totally comfortable around people you don’t know? In addition to feeling embarrassed, you feel like hiding or running away at full speed. You feel uncomfortable under any circumstances. Even the idea of having to find a new job makes you anxious as never before. You always have this feeling of insecurity and discomfort, as if the world were about to come crashing down. If it were up to you, you’d avoid every situation where you have to communicate with a stranger. This fear of strangers makes you anxious and prevents you from doing certain tasks assigned to you at work. It’s an obstacle to a proper social life. Because of this phobia, you find it hard to develop yourself or open up to new horizons…

There are many reasons why people are afraid of making contact with strangers. Some people find it more difficult than others to overcome their fear… What’s certain is that it does exist. Although it usually appears between the ages of 13 and 18, i.e. during adolescence, fear of strangers can last a lifetime. But rest assured, there are a number of ways to overcome your panic fear of strangers and save your life in society. It’s never without hope.

Fear of strangers, anthropophobia or xenophobia?

First of all, let’s shed some light on these two phobias. Some people tend to think that anthropophobia and xenophobia are the same thing. But they are not. Let’s take a look at them one by one.

ANTHROPOPHOBIA: FEAR OF PEOPLE
More commonly known as “misanthropy”, anthropophobia or antrophobia is the fear of people. Fear of strangers can be included in this phobia, but it encompasses all interpersonal relationships in general. A misanthrope experiences constant fear when interacting with others. They’re afraid of offending, or simply of being judged or rejected. If you feel this anxiety when you have to attend a party or talk to the receptionist to make a reservation, you may be antropophobic.

XENOPHOBIA: HOSTILITY TOWARDS STRANGERS
This phobia mainly concerns people who feel hostile towards strangers. It’s not so much a question of being afraid of strangers, but rather of fearing to the point of hating all those who are different. In other words, xenophobes are those who feel threatened, invaded and contemptuous of people who don’t share their nationality, language, religion or culture. Xenophobia therefore focuses on racism, and is based on prejudice and an illogical fear of foreign influence, leading to harmful behavior towards ethnic minorities, such as harassment, threats, discrimination and other forms of physical and moral violence.

SO, WHAT’S THE WORD FOR FEAR OF STRANGERS?
If you want to give this phobia a name, it’s probably not xenophobia. Unless you really believe in negative stereotypes and feel extreme antipathy towards immigrants on your territory, being afraid of interacting with people you don’t know doesn’t mean you’re racist. And thankfully so! Your phobia of communicating with people you don’t know may be the result of several factors. Some may be irrational, but they’re certainly not based on clichés.

Why am I so afraid of strangers?

This fear is gradually closing you in. But where does it come from? You’ve probably asked yourself this question several times, trying to remember why. And on many occasions, you’ve failed to identify them. This forgetfulness can be explained by what’s known as dissociative amnesia.

Even if it’s true that the word “phobia” can be defined as an irrational fear, and that medicine still can’t find a precise cause, there have indeed been determining factors, cases, situations that have caused this fear.

THE RESULT OF A TRAUMATIC CHILDHOOD
By going back to the roots, we can pinpoint the starting point of this phobia. The anxiety you feel at the thought of conversing with a total stranger may stem from past experiences that caused you trauma.

A first encounter gone wrong can be traumatic. But more often than not, it’s an event that took place during childhood or adolescence. Cases of social phobia are common among younger victims of harassment. The humiliating, frightening experience they have undergone has given rise to a fear of strangers that makes them withdraw into themselves.

AN ENVIRONMENT THAT ENCOURAGES FEAR OF STRANGERS
It’s not just bullying that causes trauma. The environment in which we grow up probably plays a major role in the way we grow up. It affects our personality enormously. Children who have been brought up with certain virtues or who have been overly nurtured will find themselves withdrawn. From an early age, they develop a certain hypersensitivity. If they have never been in contact with anyone other than their parents, they are far more likely to develop a strong fear of strangers. This is because they have been brought up to be too dependent on the presence of Mum and Dad.

If a parent or someone in your family has social phobia, it can rub off on you too. Finally, it’s not really the social phobia that’s genetic, but rather the sensitivity that can be excessive. It happens in some families.

It’s obvious that the environment in which we grow up has a considerable impact on our behavior and mentality. One of the reasons why we end up developing social anxiety and fear of strangers is the influence of a hostile environment. A family that is constantly criticizing or belittling, triggering complexes, a lack of self-confidence and a permanent fear of the gaze and opinion of others.

What are the symptoms of a phobia of strangers?

The symptoms of this fear manifest themselves in different ways. Some of them, like the physical symptoms, are rather blatant and appear quickly, while the psychological and behavioral signs are more subtle. However, the advice of a health professional is needed to make a more reliable diagnosis.

FEAR OF STRANGERS: PHYSICAL SYMPTOMS
A person suffering from stranger anxiety may start to feel anxious just thinking about their first encounter with another person. This can lead to sleep disturbances, and what’s worse, it can even last for weeks before the encounter. Before and during the interaction, he starts to feel abdominal pain, which may even be followed by diarrhea. The resulting discomfort can cause tremors, spasms, blushing, cold sweats, increased heart rate… The tense features on his face visibly show his fear of strangers, accompanied by nausea, difficulty in speaking, in looking people in the eye…

PSYCHOLOGICAL AND BEHAVIOURAL SIGNS
If you’re afraid of strangers, you’re potentially subject to anxiety. It’s no longer just a question of shyness: the mere thought of having to talk to a stranger arouses in you a fear of being judged, of being perceived as abnormal, of what might happen, of losing control of the situation, of what this person you know nothing about and who knows nothing about you might do to you… To avoid any risk of appearing ridiculous, your fear of strangers drives you to do nothing to get closer to new people, but on the contrary to do everything to avoid meeting them.

Sometimes, you force yourself. But at such times, panic attacks arise and affect your mind and behavior. You risk losing your composure, showing signs of anxiety, aggression and stress, a constant urge to cry brought on by emotional instability. Finally, you decide to give up and stop struggling…

What are the consequences of fearing strangers?

After experiencing all these miseries, those who are afraid of strangers tend to shut themselves up in their own bubbles, which is a pity.

This fear is a huge handicap for you, if you fall victim to it. You always dread all possible encounters in advance. You lose the ability to make decisions and become depressed. Cowering in the corner of your room, you stop going to parties for fear of meeting people you’ve never met. Because of this, you end up closing yourself off to all possibilities: new friends, a new job or promotion, a new relationship, a new passion… Your fear of strangers diminishes your self-confidence and curbs your fulfillment in your social life, ruining your chances of being fully happy.

What’s more, in addition to the disruption to your physical health, your mental health will also take a hit. You risk developing numerous other phobias (e.g. agoraphobia, the fear of leaving the house), psychological and personality disorders.

What can you do to overcome your fear of strangers?

Fear of strangers can be deeply ingrained, especially when you’ve experienced traumatic situations as a child. Many people carry this fear of strangers with them into adulthood, thinking they’ll never be able to get rid of it… But no! It can be cured.

OVERCOMING THE PHOBIA OF STRANGERS YOURSELF
Admittedly, this is easier said than done. But the first person who can help is you. Healing your phobia starts with you, because if you don’t make up your mind once and for all, and put in the effort, any treatment will be in vain.

If you’re fed up with having to adopt safety behaviors every time you go out just because you have this enormous fear of strangers, i.e. planning in advance what you’re going to say, all the while agonizing and then in the end not taking part in conversations, hiding under your clothes and make-up, panicking just at the thought of going out and thinking about the risk of a complete stranger coming up to you… start by treating your anxiety with relaxation techniques such as meditation, guided breathing, etc., or find other ways of dealing with it. or find other methods of calming social anxiety that will help you enormously.

Don’t hesitate to confide in someone close to you, someone who understands you, or a professional about your problem.

Your fear of strangers is a real handicap to your social life and your well-being, so you need support, but above all you need to support yourself. Persevere, because the road ahead is long and difficult. To facilitate new encounters, indulge in activities you enjoy. Make small efforts, give yourself rewards, take a break when you feel tired and then start again!

THERAPEUTIC TREATMENTS
Certain medications are supposed to calm anxiety and stress, but they can be dangerous. The best thing is to seek psychological help and follow a therapy that will help you gradually reduce your fear of strangers.

There are also a number of proven methods for treating similar phobias which may be of use to you.

Psychoanalysis: to alleviate your suffering and resolve your inner conflicts.
CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy): to assess your phobia and follow a course of treatment according to the reasons discovered.
Ericksonian hypnosis: based on intuition and letting go.
NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming): a technique for reproducing positive behaviors.
EMDR: a therapy using two-sensory stimulation.

But before proceeding, you need the advice of a professional. A reliable diagnosis is always necessary.

AFRAID OF STRANGERS? HELP OTHERS LIKE YOURSELF
If you witness bullying at school, don’t hesitate to intervene. Remember that events occurring during childhood or adolescence are the primary factors leading to this disabling fear. By protecting children from any kind of abuse, you can spare them from growing up in fear and insecurity of the outside world.

If you have children of your own, try to bring them up with love, without making them hypersensitive, otherwise they risk becoming frightened adults.

Finally, if you notice other people around you with the same fear of strangers as you, try to get close to them and give them a feeling of comfort, so that they know that not all strangers are frightening, that they can open up to the world without fear. Advise them and encourage them to see a psychotherapist. Make friends with them, so you’ll have someone to share your worries with.