They say that in life, you don’t get something for nothing. To get what you want, you have to know how to argue and share your ideas with your opponent. Indeed, to get your ideas across, you need to be able to convince the people around you to go your way. In fact, everything is about negotiation, whether at work, in your relationship or in your social interactions. An employee who wants more responsibility negotiates, a salesman negotiates to increase his commissions, a consumer also negotiates to obtain a discount. So it’s important to learn how to negotiate. Because, while we all have basic negotiating skills, negotiation is not innate. Even a child negotiates for the right to watch a cartoon, for example.

So how do you become a oustanding negotiator?

What is negotiation?

The dictionary defines negotiation as “a series of steps taken to reach an agreement, to conclude a deal”. Negotiation is an exchange of words between two people with opposing ideas, in an attempt to find a solution acceptable to both parties.

It’s essential to learn how to negotiate, because negotiation is part of everyday life, whether in the personal or professional sphere. It enables us to solve a problem without using authority or force. In fact, negotiation involves a discussion based on trust between two protagonists. Arguments are the only way to tip the balance in favor of one side or the other. So it’s the one who finds the right arguments and knows how to convince who has the last word in the story.

As a result, a poorly conducted negotiation can end in failure. That’s why learning to negotiate is a must.

Negotiation differs from other forms of conflict resolution in the way it involves interaction between the various parties.

In discussion, opposing parties simply state their opinions, without attempting to reach a consensus.
Consultation involves bringing together the opinions of both parties, without involving them in the resolution of the conflict.
Mediation involves a mediator.
Concertation aims to find a compromise between different people with different ideas but common interests.
Adjudication calls on an expert or a vote to reach a favorable decision.

Why learn to negotiate?

Negotiation is a skill that needs to be developed, especially in the corporate world. Indeed, knowing how to negotiate is a real asset in professional life. For example, a good negotiator will have no trouble concluding a contract to his or her advantage. They can also easily obtain a pay rise if they use the right arguments.

Whether dealing with partners, colleagues or superiors, a person who knows how to negotiate can easily win over those around him or her. At home, knowing how to negotiate allows you to have the last word on the day’s program, the meal, etc. In other words, learning to negotiate gives you the chance to win a well-deserved victory after a hard-fought battle. The longer and harder the negotiation, the greater the satisfaction of success. Indeed, a battle won on the basis of a balance of power is short-lived, and the joy that ensues is not complete. On the other hand, a well-executed negotiation is pure pleasure.

Properly mastered, negotiation is a massive and effective weapon of persuasion, with no need to resort to a power struggle. Indeed, negotiation is verbal communication that establishes a human relationship.

Learning to negotiate: the different negotiation techniques

There are several techniques for mastering the art of negotiation.

OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS
Open-ended questions are questions that you don’t answer with a yes or no answer. This type of question will encourage your negotiating partner to propose new ideas in order to reach yours. And they won’t feel that you’ve forced their hand. With questions that begin with “how”, “what” or “which”, you put yourself in a strong position to control the negotiation.

MIRRORING
Learning to negotiate means mastering the mirroring technique. Mirroring involves imitating your negotiating partner so that he or she feels confident. Whether in speech, vocabulary, tone of voice, gestures, etc., it’s all part of the process. You can, for example, repeat everything he says to make him understand that you need more information to understand what he’s saying.

THE EMOTION STRATEGY
Like mirroring, this technique enables you to put your interviewer in a position of trust. The difference is that, here, you recognize the emotions your counterpart is feeling. To learn how to negotiate, you need to get them to open up about their intentions, so there’s nothing left unsaid.

The emotion strategy is a manipulative technique widely used in negotiation to create a calm environment. By encouraging negative emotions, you drive out negative emotions.

RESPECT
Negotiation is not a verbal battle where the one with the most repartee wins. In fact, there are no winners or losers in a negotiation, since the aim is to find a solution favorable to both parties.

So learning to negotiate means learning to respect the other person, his or her ideas and opinions. This means giving them the time to speak without interrupting or making negative comments. By constantly criticizing what the other person has to say, you create a conflict situation – the opposite of a successful negotiation.

OPEN-MINDEDNESS
This is a negotiating technique that enables you to consider the interests of the other party. In a negotiation, there are two parties looking for a solution so that neither feels they’ve lost out. Deciding on the basis of mutual interests requires open-mindedness, empathy and attentive listening. Here are the keys to learning how to negotiate effectively.

ARGUMENTS THAT CAN BE DISCUSSED AND JUSTIFIED
Negotiation is not a relationship in which you put forward your opinions and try to convince the other that this is the best solution for everyone. To argue, you need to put forward justifiable facts. Why is this increase justified? Why is a 12-month subscription more advantageous than a 6-month subscription?

You won’t be able to make the negotiation work to your advantage if you simply table your request.

COMMUNICATION SKILLS
Mastering communication techniques is an essential part of convincing and learning to negotiate. Indeed, it’s essential that you remain calm during the negotiation to avoid creating a conflictual situation. To do this, you need to master both verbal and non-verbal communication.

Play with words.
Play with postures.
Know how to say no diplomatically.
Don’t succumb to stage fright.
Etc.

Thanks to these techniques, you’ll be able to adapt the discussion to the person you’re talking to. That way, you’ll be in control of the discussion and can decide how the conversation should go.

How to become an ace negotiator

Negotiating is not something you can improvise. That’s why you need to learn how to negotiate. Indeed, a series of steps is required before you can convince the other person that what you’re saying makes sense. Or maybe it’s the best solution in a given situation.

PREPARING FOR NEGOTIATION
Before you put forward your first argument, ask yourself a few questions to ensure that you have every chance on your side:

Who is your opponent? His qualities, his weaknesses, his personality.
What is your objective? In other words
what will the conversation be about?
Do you have a plan B? Even if you’ve done everything you can to learn how to negotiate, there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to convince the other person. So it’s important to have a backup plan. For example, a loyalty point instead of a 20% discount on an item, a bonus increase instead of base salary, one hour of TV instead of two, etc.

BEING A GOOD LISTENER
A sympathetic ear is essential to a successful negotiation and a win-win outcome. In fact, as we said earlier, the reason we take training courses to learn how to negotiate is to ensure that every negotiation we conduct leads to a win-win situation. Clearly, if the discussion is one-sided, the other party will feel aggrieved. The result will be a conflictual environment that will not allow anything good or constructive to come out of it.

So it’s essential to give the other party time to argue and present his or her ideas, even if there is a subordinate relationship between the two parties.

DEMONSTRATE EMPATHY
This is the famous strategy of emotion, respect and mirroring mentioned above. Learning to negotiate also means showing empathy. And with good reason: it puts you on the same wavelength as your counterpart. Whether it’s body language or verbal language. This creates a real climate of trust, enabling everyone to express themselves without fear. Thanks to empathy, each protagonist feels valued and can say anything without being judged.

To achieve this, adopt a collaborative tone that invites exchange rather than defensiveness. Play the compliment card. For example, if you know that the person you’re talking to is passionate about art, compliment his or her work.

LEARN TO NEGOTIATE: BE READY TO RECONSIDER YOUR POSITIONS
If the discussion doesn’t turn out the way you planned, it’s vital to be able to accept the situation. Unfortunately, you can’t always win. Sometimes, you have to be willing to make compromises in your personal or professional relationship to keep negotiations on track. Besides, knowing how to question yourself is a sign of intelligence, and only great men have this ability.

In a business negotiation, this means setting your sights high, only to fall short of the goals you set yourself in the first place.

In short, learning to negotiate means accepting to let the other side win a battle, in order to win the war.

A BACK-UP PLAN
A good negotiation is a war of nerves in which each party must control its emotions so as not to let the other take advantage of them. In the course of an exchange, you can take it in turns to convince the other person to go your way, or to compromise.

When the discussion doesn’t go your way, it’s vital that you know how to find a way out. That’s why it’s a good idea to prepare the negotiation well in advance.

Learning to negotiate: the qualities of a good negotiator

People who have mastered the art of negotiation possess certain qualities. These enable them to lead a positive discussion, avoiding situations that create a sense of injustice.

Charisma: charisma is the ability to captivate your interlocutor through your verbal and non-verbal language. It can be learned and developed.
Empathy.
Eloquence. Knowing how to speak well to persuade and move your interlocutor.
Being a good listener.
Persuasiveness.
Ambition.
Patience: a good negotiator knows how to keep negative emotions at bay, no matter what the other person says.

Where can I learn to negotiate?

Would you like to become an ace negotiator, so that you can face personal or professional deadlock situations head on?

There are several online and face-to-face training courses to help you hone your negotiation skills. Simple, practical exercises are available to help learners assess their ability to communicate and get their ideas across.

Several topics are covered in the course:

Self-confidence.
The art of building trust and cooperation.
The art of sharing emotions.
How to spot unfair tactics.
How to reach agreement when the situation seems impossible?

Learning to negotiate is a course for everyone, because as we’ve said, life is a series of negotiations. But you also have to accept that even the best negotiators have to compromise, because you can’t be sure of winning every time… This course will help you grow and learn to open up to others. Not only will you improve your general communication skills, but you’ll also find it easier to interact with those around you. Your social life will be all the better for it.

Have you already taken a training course to learn how to negotiate? Share your experience with us. We look forward to hearing from you.