Being responsible for yourself can be a lot harder than you think. But when we love ourselves, this responsibility no longer weighs on us; on the contrary, it’s an honor to be there for ourselves. Loving yourself is the basis of personal fulfillment. It makes us stronger, more self-confident and more resilient. The secret to relearning to love yourself lies in gratitude, self-acceptance and appreciation of every moment spent with yourself.

Why is it so important to love yourself?

When the subject of self-love comes up, people think of selfishness. But how can we love others if we don’t love ourselves?

“Everyone puts love of self before love of neighbor”

Love of self is the beginning of love of neighbor. It establishes a certain self-evidence for loving others. For example, if I like my qualities, I’ll be more inclined to see the qualities in others, rather than focusing on their faults.

On a slightly more egotistical note (we have to think about our own well-being), self-love boosts self-esteem and self-confidence. Be careful not to confuse self-love with the belief that we are superior to others. When we want to learn to love ourselves again, it’s to feel good about ourselves, not to be stronger than others.

We need to learn to love ourselves to be at peace with ourselves, to strengthen our self-esteem and to feel good with others.

Tips for learning to love yourself

LOVE YOURSELF UNCONDITIONALLY
We often impose conditions on ourselves in order to love ourselves. For example, if we don’t achieve a goal, we criticize ourselves, feel guilty and sometimes even physically torture ourselves.

Unconditional love means loving ourselves, whatever the outcome. It’s saying to yourself that even if you fail, “I’m not going to tear myself apart”, but “I’m going to prioritize dialogue with myself”. This doesn’t mean that you’re going to throw yourself a pat on the back even when things go wrong, for example by saying “I’m great”, but that you’re going to keep loving yourself no matter what.

Loving yourself unconditionally requires the ability to forgive yourself. Or to question yourself, but without ever setting conditions for loving yourself.

What if I’m guilty of something serious? Discuss it and try to find a solution, but don’t damage your self-esteem. After all, you may feel guilty, but you don’t have to hate yourself.

RE-LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF: IDENTIFYING AND EXPLOITING YOUR STRENGTHS
It’s amazing how critical we can be of ourselves. Sometimes we justify this self-criticism by thinking we deserve it or that others would have done it in our place. The brutal truth is that not everyone thinks about you all day long, as you might imagine. The attitude you adopt towards yourself is the same as it is towards others.

So it’s time to focus less on your weaknesses and more on what others think of you. Above all, think about your strengths and exploit them. In other words, be proud to value and express your talents, qualities and skills.

Why do we always have to ask ourselves what we lack? Why can’t we be proud of what we have and who we are? It doesn’t take much to be happy. Take a look at who you are, personally and professionally, and let yourself be impressed by your achievements and qualities.

If you’re having trouble, ask those close to you what they appreciate about you. Write down each quality, skill and gift on a piece of paper to help you become more aware of them.

LEARN TO FINISH WHAT YOU START
To learn to love yourself again, you need to feel strong and enterprising, which means achieving goals. The goals you set can break you if they fail, just as they can strengthen you.

Learn to finish what you start. Giving up along the way is hard to bear. That’s why, to simplify your life, set yourself simple, realistic and achievable goals. If your goals are too difficult to achieve, you need to break them down into sub-goals.

What’s more, even if in the end the results don’t live up to your expectations, don’t forget unconditional love: the most important thing is to finish what you start. That’s why, before you do something, make sure it’s what you want.

WRITE DOWN YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS AND WHAT YOU’RE PROUD OF
What’s special about human beings is that every time they encounter a difficulty, they remember the times they failed. What if, instead, you wrote down all your successes and what you’re proud of?
The exercise we suggest is to take note of all your achievements. And every one of us has something to be proud of. There are no small victories, only victories.

Writing down these successes and what you’re proud of is good for your mood, it can boost your confidence and make you love yourself more. Writing them down on a sheet of paper is a good exercise that trains your brain to focus on positive things.

RE-LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF: MAKE POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS
In the same vein as the previous tip, we draw our brain’s attention to positive things. The mind obeys what it’s taught, and unfortunately, most of the time, it’s taught badly. Because we’re always feeling guilty, seeing the negative in everything.

What if you simply decided to smile at life? To look on the bright side of things? I’m not asking you to be Mr. Positive. But rather to learn to appreciate when things are going well.

As it can be difficult to simply see the positive, positive affirmations can be a great help. Properly formulated, they reinforce our state of mind, helping us to love and trust ourselves. In a way, they provoke positive reactions in our minds.

To formulate a positive affirmation, all you have to do is say something good about it, without going overboard either. Positive affirmations can be used to learn to love yourself.

I love myself as I am
I am present for myself
I allow myself to be happy

Instead of using positive affirmations, you can also say a word to yourself.

From now on, I love myself unconditionally. Day after day, I feel my love for myself growing. Self-love comforts me, strengthens me and leads me to total well-being. I am now authentic, because the only person I absolutely need to be happy is myself.

RE-LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF: BEING AUTHENTIC
It’s harder to love yourself when you’re not yourself. Because it’s exhausting and detestable to be someone else. On the other hand, when you’re authentic, it takes much less effort.

If you don’t like something, have the courage to say so. Avoid doing the opposite of what you think in order to please others. In other words, be assertive. Even if, in the end, they’re all against you, saying what you think will make you proud of yourself. There’s no greater satisfaction than staying true to yourself to the end. It may be difficult at first, but in the end, you’ll love yourself even more. Authentic people are not necessarily arrogant or egocentric. They simply choose to be true and honest to themselves.

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
To learn to love yourself again, you have to take care of yourself. It’s not necessarily a question of physical fitness, it’s above all a question of positive intention. When we take care of ourselves, we say we love ourselves. Because we take care of what we love.

But taking care of yourself doesn’t have to be stressful. It should be a matter of course for you. So you can take small initiatives that will help you feel better about yourself. Like taking care of your skin, washing your hair, building up your muscles, etc.

Taking care of yourself can also mean taking care of your personal hygiene. In other words, showering, brushing your teeth, wearing clean clothes, etc. To feel even better, you can also take care of your personal space, cleaning and decorating it.

RE-LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF: FORGIVING YOURSELF FOR PAST MISTAKES
If it can be difficult to love yourself, it’s because you can’t forgive yourself. We all have difficult past experiences. But some people are more forward-looking than others. And it’s not because other people’s mistakes are more serious than their own. It’s simply that they’ve developed a strong capacity for resilience.

Know that you’ll always make mistakes, that you’ll always fail – it’s inevitable. But you can choose to be more resilient, or you can choose to endure all your mistakes and failures, over and over again. It’s better to forgive yourself and try to move forward than to stay stuck in the past. What’s more, resilience strengthens your ability to love yourself. The ability to forgive yourself in order to move forward gives you a better self-image.