Loving someone, investing yourself in a relationship means opening up to that person and sometimes showing yourself to be vulnerable. A painful past, certain anxieties and complexes can come to the fore and affect your relationship. It’s important not only to know how to take the right action, but also to understand where these negative thoughts come from, so you can have a balanced relationship and find happiness.

In this article, you’ll discover the keys to managing your anxieties and giving your relationship a real chance to last, by putting aside the negative patterns that have been repeating themselves all too often in your relationship over the years.

THE PRINCIPLES YOU NEED TO REMEMBER TO STOP BEING UNSTABLE IN LOVE!

Emotional instability and love: a multi-step challenge:

Understanding the reasons for this instability
Work on your self-confidence
Better communication
Setting achievable expectations that match your needs

THE CAUSES OF EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY IN A RELATIONSHIP

As you know, to combat your fears and manage your emotions in the best possible way, discovering the sources of your emotions is essential. By coaching and talking to thousands of different people with the same problem as you, I’ve been able to identify 4 main reasons for this instability.

COMMUNICATION PROBLEMS
There isn’t necessarily an order or hierarchy when it comes to the reasons for personality disorders. The first is communication. You and your partner are unable or unwilling to share your feelings.

Whether it’s positive or negative, you can’t find the means to share what you’re feeling, so you don’t talk to each other and the problems accumulate, weakening the couple.

You don’t know where you stand and you can’t find the right balance, and all this stress prevents you from blossoming because you’re not emotionally stable.

UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
We’re not taught how to love or be in a relationship. The latter pattern creates what we call unrealistic expectations, which hinder your ability to be happy as a couple because your desires are based on something false.

In the movies, there are no arguments that last more than 5 minutes, asking forgiveness and offering flowers are enough to move on, but in real life it’s a different matter and you can’t act in the same way.

In the movies, everyone’s perfect, the weather’s nice all the time and relationships aren’t deep, but to want the same thing in your own life is to make a mistake.

CONFIDENCE PROBLEMS
Self-confidence plays an essential role in a couple. I tend to say that before you can make someone happy, you have to be happy yourself.

Very often, we expect the person in our life to be the source of the happiness we need. This creates emotional dependence and, of course, instability, as you put too much pressure on your partner.

Given that he/she is the source of your fulfillment and that you have based your life, your outings and your future on his/her desires, the imbalance becomes even greater. Focusing on yourself and your problems is therefore necessary before you can invest in your relationship.

UNFULFILLED EXPECTATIONS
Being or sharing your life with a woman or man who is unstable in love can also be linked to unmet expectations. You communicate, you express what you want but nothing goes as planned, you don’t get or you don’t give what your partner needs.

Most of the time, this is characterized by one of you putting in more effort than the other, which creates frustration. Efforts aren’t being made, promises aren’t being kept, love is still there, you have feelings but you don’t know how to fulfill them, and this affects your mental health.

HOW TO OVERCOME EMOTIONAL INSTABILITY: 4 TIPS TO APPLY RIGHT AWAY!

Being someone with avoidant personality disorder doesn’t have to be inevitable, and there are things you can do to better control your emotions.

ADOPT POSITIVE COMMUNICATION STRATEGIES
First of all, having an anxiety disorder is nothing to be ashamed of. Whether it’s because of your past or tragic events, there’s an explanation for your problem, and asserting it shouldn’t scare you.

You don’t want to pretend that these problems don’t exist, but rather to bring more positivity into your daily life. You don’t want to have to deal with behaviors that have a negative impact on your morale. That’s why positive communication will help you.
You can start by reminding yourself of all your qualities, and when it comes to your partner, insist on compliments, on why he/she makes you happy, and on plans for the two of you. You want him/her to want to talk to you, but reproaches and a negative past tend to make you want to detach yourself.

REDUCE UNREALISTIC EXPECTATIONS
Earlier in the article, I mentioned Hollywood’s negative impact on the way we view relationships. In fact, all these films create a personality disorder because you don’t think like you, but rather like the people in them.

To stop being unstable in love, you need to know what you really want, what makes you tick. That’s why you need to find out not only what you want from your partner, but also what you can bring to the relationship.

Obviously, you’re going to want honesty, trips to the ends of the earth and attention, but you need to focus on the little details of everyday life, the actions that really matter.

DEVELOP YOUR SELF-CONFIDENCE!
Interpersonal relationships are not always easy to manage when you have what looks like a borderline personality. To avoid instability, so as not to remain in the same pattern relationship after relationship, you need to work on yourself!

We’re not just going to work on the symptoms, but on the behaviours that work for people who suffer from this disorder, but who want to get over it and are aware that there is a solution!

There’s an essential element to apply too: the importance of being in a positive environment. Not contacting an emotionally unstable man or woman is going to be necessary for some time!

LEARN TO EXPRESS YOUR EMOTIONS
Emotional instability is often expressed in negative ways, preventing constructive dialogue and effective action. Examples include dangerous eating habits, suicidal gestures and threats (particularly in the case of emotional dependency), and angry outbursts in which people say things they later regret.

Learning to express your emotions is essential if you are to move forward together. Whether through a letter, an intermediary, or in a different environment. You need to express what’s bothering you in the right way, just as you need to say what you appreciate.