The need to be loved affects men and women of all ages. Very often, the need for love is sentimental, but it can also mean seeking the approval of others. Friends, family members, colleagues, etc. The need to be loved therefore takes many forms.

In this article, I’ll mainly be talking about the need to be loved, i.e. in a sentimental relationship. But at times I’ll also talk about those who build their lives around the outside world.

As long as the person feeling the need to be loved is happy, no problem. On the other hand, it’s when it becomes unhealthy that difficulties arise. However, solutions do exist to combat this constant need for love, which can prevent us from blossoming, and that’s what I wanted to pass on here.

WHY DO I NEED TO BE LOVED?

When we ask ourselves this question, it’s because we often feel a need to be appreciated by others. In my opinion, it’s possible to define the need to be loved in different ways, but here I’ve decided to focus on the 5 main reasons why we feel the need to be loved.

If you find yourself in one of these 5 categories, please read on, and in particular the solutions I propose.

1 – I NEED LOVE BECAUSE I’M EMOTIONALLY DEPENDENT
Emotional dependency is a state of extreme possessiveness and a permanent need for others. We want to be loved because our own happiness is dictated by the presence of the person we love, but also by the demonstration of their feelings.

Love addiction is a real scourge, because it shatters your self-confidence and makes you totally acquired in the eyes of the other person.

2 – I NEED TO BE LOVED TO FILL A VOID
A lack of self-confidence leads to self-doubt and devaluation. As a result, we want to be loved in order to feel support and compassion.

The general idea here is that we seek to be accepted by a group, with the sole aim of proving our worth. We then tend to live for, or through, others.

When the need to be loved is lacking, it creates a void in our daily lives.

3 – I WANT TO BE LOVED BECAUSE OF MY PAST
Our emotional upbringing, but above all the love we receive from our parents, has a consequence on the adult we become. And therefore on the way we give and receive love.

People who lacked love and tenderness during childhood are more likely to experience difficulties in loving later on, or to have an enormous need for affection. The reason for this is that these same people need to fill an emotional gap, and therefore feel the need to be loved all the time.

4 – I NEED TO BE LOVED TOO MUCH BECAUSE IT’S MY DRIVING FORCE
Love is the driving force of our lives. Each of us wants affection and feels the desire, albeit to a greater or lesser degree, for recognition in order to feel that we exist.

As long as this remains within certain limits, no worries. On the other hand, it becomes more problematic when we’re constantly seeking other people’s love and attention.

5 – I NEED TO LOVE AND BE LOVED, BECAUSE THAT’S MY DEFINITION OF LOVE.
When our dream love life is essentially based on our partner’s involvement, and the perfect balance of feelings in married life, then we consider that when we love someone, that person must love us in the same way in return.

Of course, each of us has our own definition of love, and we need to understand this. In a couple, two partners may not love in the same way. So it’s important to redouble your efforts to make the other understand your needs and desires. This does not mean that one loves the other more, but rather that each gives love in his or her own way.

IS IT SERIOUS TO FEEL THE NEED TO BE LOVED?

The need for love is a natural need. There’s nothing serious about feeling the need to be loved. Human beings build themselves through their emotions, and love is the most powerful. Whether it’s sentimental, familial or professional, the desire to be loved is normal, because it allows you to grow personally.

So there’s nothing dramatic about wanting to be loved… as long as it remains reasonable and doesn’t destroy your relationships! However, over the past few years, and particularly with the rise of social networking, there has been a growing need to show off one’s life, and especially one’s happiness. In a way, it’s a way of gaining the approval of others and therefore of being loved.

This need can become harmful when it turns into an obsession. Worse still, it can lead to disengagement or a feeling of being fed up with the people you care about.

When your behavior or habits cut you off from your family, professional or love circle, then there’s a problem, and it’s taking up too much space.

If this need to be loved is ruining your life, and preventing you from achieving happiness, then it’s essential to find solutions to remedy the situation. Unfortunately, the problem is that you often don’t realize it yourself.

That’s why I’m going to explain to you below the signs that your need to feel love is a little too great…

WHAT ARE THE SIGNS THAT YOUR NEED TO BE LOVED IS TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE?

There are various signs that your need to be loved is taking up too much space. It’s not always dramatic, but if you’re aware of it, you’ll be able to fight it more easily. But above all, you’ll know where to turn in order to overcome your need to be loved more quickly. After all, it’s always easier to fight what you’ve identified.

Here I’ve decided to pick out 3 reasons why your need to be loved is detrimental to your life.

1 – YOUR DESIRE TO BE LOVED IS CAUSING PROBLEMS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP
The constant demand for affection or attention can damage a relationship, leading to tension and even separation.

Being in constant demand of your partner creates unease in the couple, as they feel suffocated and under pressure. In this case, need becomes a kind of repellent, and can lead to the opposite of what you want.

Fortunately, this doesn’t happen overnight. Your other half will alert you and tell you it’s too much. So pay close attention to the way he or she talks and behaves.

2 – YOUR STRONG NEED FOR LOVE MAKES YOU UNHAPPY
Being in need of love creates dependency, as I explained above. In your private life, this results in a lack of happiness. On the one hand, you’re living for the other, but on top of that you’re putting yourself in demand.

The expectations generated by this need to be loved make you lose self-confidence and affect your morale. You devalue yourself and lose self-esteem. Suffice it to say that if things go on like this, personal fulfillment is impossible.

Either you suffer, or your partner does. But in reality, most of the time it’s not one or the other. It affects both partners, so you’re both suffering.

3 – YOU’RE CRITICIZED FOR DRAWING TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO YOURSELF
Whether it’s your colleagues, friends or family members, you’re regularly criticized for drawing too much attention to yourself.

Whether it’s the way you dress, the way you hold yourself or even the way you talk, you don’t go unnoticed. You may not see the harm in it, but it can have repercussions you don’t realize.

I WANT TO BE LOVED: HOW CAN I LIVE BETTER WITH MY NEED TO BE LOVED?

In this section I’m going to list 3 ideas that will help you live better when you frequently feel the need to be loved.

1 – I NEED TO REGAIN MY EMOTIONAL AUTONOMY!
It’s essential to regain your emotional autonomy when you feel the need for love is too great. To move forward, you need to work on yourself, with the aim of effectively combating your emotional dependence.

That’s why it’s absolutely essential to find balance in your love life and stop relying on others for your fulfillment. Your happiness is your own.

2 – TO FIGHT THE NEED TO BE LOVED, I NEED TO GAIN SELF-CONFIDENCE!
The need to be loved can stem from a lack of self-confidence and/or a devaluation of one’s own person.

Under these conditions, you need to assert yourself as an individual. To do this, you need to emphasize your own desires and choices. You’re going to have to work on a crucial notion in personal development: self-esteem!

But it doesn’t stop there! To overcome this lack of self-confidence, you’ll need to define your real needs and how you’re going to achieve them. Your way of seeing things will also have to be put forward. Don’t hide any longer…

To sum up, you need to identify your own needs and do everything you can to make them your priorities. Yes, you have to think about yourself!

3 – WORK ON YOURSELF TO MINIMIZE THE NEED FOR RECOGNITION
The need for recognition can drive your loved ones away and close you in on yourself.

Working on yourself to create a change in your habits or behavior towards them will be beneficial in your family, sentimental or professional relationships.

You need to understand that no matter what people say about you, the most important thing is how you see yourself!