Fear of other people’s gaze inevitably influences your behavior, and in my opinion it’s essential to fight against this aspect which blocks you and pushes you to modify your behavior. There’s nothing more dramatic than forcing yourself or playing a role in order to please the people around you, especially when they’re strangers. This phobia of other people’s gaze affects many people’s love lives, as it prevents finding love, the feeling of being watched being tetanizing. That’s how I came to analyze the problems linked to the fear caused by what others think, or rather because we think that others think. Indeed, in most cases we notice that the people around us don’t pay the slightest attention to who we are or what we’re doing.

WHY AM I AFRAID OF THE WAY PEOPLE LOOK AT ME?
There’s often a link with the past that explains your current attitude. But that’s no excuse, and it doesn’t mean you should sit back and do nothing. You’re going to have to be active in order to work on these areas for improvement.

The fact that you’ve never been encouraged, the fact that you haven’t received the recognition you thought you deserved, the reproaches you’ve been given, particularly physical reproaches, the way society dictates what you should look like. There are plenty of other reasons for your blockage, so don’t feel guilty about it, but rather accept them and act on your charm!

The way others look at you will continue to pursue you if you don’t do anything to move forward and, above all, to feel better about yourself. The reason why you’re so obsessed is that you assume that it’s other people who are judging you. If you think that way, you’ll never evolve, because the problem doesn’t come from you. However, the judgment of others is often a creation, or rather an amplification, of your own mind, and you need to get rid of it.

DOES THE GAZE OF OTHERS REALLY EXIST?
I’m going to ask you to do a little experiment about judging others. Try to think of the last time you were in public. In the subway, in the supermarket, in the street. Can you remember just one person in detail? Are you able to think back to exactly that person you bumped into? Ask yourself this question, but I’m convinced the answer is no. I wouldn’t be able to describe the person who was standing next to me while I was shopping last week.

Through this experience, I’ve come to understand that the fear of other people’s gaze, whether it’s when you’re hesitating to approach a woman or a man, or when you’re choosing your clothes, or whatever, is totally unfounded. We’re much more transparent than we think, and today you have no valid excuse not to strike up a conversation with that woman you like so much, or that man who attracts you like no other.

In reality, you’re the one who imagines you’re being watched, and who therefore creates the gaze of others. Unless you dress in fluorescent yellow pants or a tee-shirt in the middle of winter, nobody’s going to pay any attention to you. And even if they do, nothing negative will come of it. But what does it really matter? I’m not here to say whether it’s sad or not, but in our society, we don’t pay attention to others because we focus solely on ourselves.

So why not start by feeling good about yourself?

I’m thinking, for example, of friend who was unable to have a morning coffee with a colleague for fear of being laughed at. Under normal circumstances, or simply for a man she wasn’t attracted to, she would never have asked herself the question! That’s a lot of boundaries to overcome. It’s a negative psychological construct designed to prevent you from taking action. Freeing yourself from the gaze of others means no longer forcing yourself to think negatively, and not just adapting to those around you.

WHY IS FEAR OF OTHER PEOPLE’S OPINIONS SUCH A BIG ISSUE FOR ME?

Unless you’ve committed a crime and your photo has been on the front page for weeks, men and women don’t pay attention to who you are. To succeed in making fun of other people’s gaze is to gain height and self-confidence. This anxiety, this fear you have, is explained by the fact that your image, your self-esteem, is not at its best. More than a fear of other people’s gaze, you’re simply afraid of not measuring up.

But as they say, ridicule doesn’t kill you! And who said you were ridiculous? Never underestimate yourself! On the contrary, love yourself and take charge of your life…

The less confident you are in your own potential, the more you’ll assume that the men and women around you are judging you or, worse still, spying on your every move. It’s all happening inside you, and the risk is that you’ll become paranoid about thinking too much about other people and what they might think.

Of course, it’s not easy to detach yourself to this extent, because as a rule you keep telling yourself “it’s important what other people think of me”. But gradually you’ll gain freedom and autonomy, and you won’t have to be afraid of others! At best you won’t care, at worst you’ll listen to their advice and take it accordingly to improve yourself!

HOW CAN YOU MAKE FUN OF THE WAY OTHERS LOOK AT YOU?
It’s time to face reality. You’re asking yourself far too many questions, and you’re going to have to relax and work on something absolutely vital: how to develop your charisma!

If you’re worried about being judged before you attempt a seduction approach, remember that this is the best way to set the wrong goal and make a bad impression.

Moreover, it’s not just about seduction, it’s also true in other areas of life: whether it’s with family or friends, you find it hard to impose yourself and take the initiative, whereas if you did, most people would be on your side.

In order not to fear the gaze of others, you need to focus on your self-confidence and your abilities. You also need to take responsibility for your choices.

Whether through looks, body language or charisma, you’ll find all the elements you need to overcome those fears and not let strangers, or rather your own mind, get the better of you. I’m not asking you to go shouting from the rooftops and get yourself noticed, because that’s absolutely not the objective. Subtlety and class will be your main weapons in overcoming the fear of being judged.

I know how capable you are of opening a dialogue without revealing your intentions. I ask you to do it when you feel like it, because contrary to what you think, you’re not being watched or judged by others or by society. You have no excuse today for not following your desires.

When I went shopping, as I explained to you, I made a fantastic discovery. My gaze was disinterested, and it’s the same for most people. So you’re safe from the greatest fear of all: the gaze of others and the criticism you think you’re running away from!

To stop letting yourself be controlled by other people’s opinions, you can also take inspiration from someone around you who is much more detached. There’s always someone around us who isn’t shy, who manages to be stress-free in many areas. It’s very simple: I want you to spend time with this person and imitate his/her behavior! Yes, take inspiration from the men or women around you who don’t have that negative feeling that holds you back in your social interactions.

Disregarding others also means taking inspiration from those who behave in the way you want to behave. Forcing yourself, in the first instance, is the first step to being able to move forward and find your happiness!

I wish you good luck in overcoming this phobia of other people’s gaze.