After a break-up or divorce, it can be hard to know how to deal with your ex. But it’s not just you and your partner who are at a distance. The reason is simple: you’ve probably known his family for years. You’d spent vacations with them, Christmas Eves, birthdays and anniversaries, and you’d made memories with your ex’s family members just as he/she had with your own. It’s normal, you were a couple and as one. So it’s hard to know how to behave with your former in-laws, and especially with your ex’s parents.

IN-LAWS WHO DON’T LIKE YOU – FORGET THE CLICHÉS!
We’ve all seen a movie or heard a legend that would have us believe that relationships between a man and his father-in-law, or a woman and her mother-in-law, can’t be good. It’s just not true! Although there may be tensions, relationships often run perfectly smoothly, and bonds can quickly form between you and your in-laws. To protect your love story and live it serenely, it’s important to have good relations with your partner’s family, just as he/she should with yours.

When you have a child or get married, you bind your two families together; you’re part of his or her family, just as he or she is part of yours, and that’s why it’s all the harder to continue to have good relations after separation when you value those close to you. Yes, it would be much easier to hate them and not have to make the slightest effort, but that’s not the case… If you’re reading this article it’s because you really want to improve the situation with them. You no longer want to be embarrassed by the idea of always being in contact with your ex-father-in-law and mother-in-law.

ANNOUNCING THE BREAK-UP, THE FIRST TEST
Some people have witnessed the tensions in your relationship and are therefore not surprised when you announce the divorce or break-up, but for others (perhaps a little less close) it’s a total surprise. If you don’t know how to react, they too are in the same situation. Just because they’re your ex’s parents and your ex doesn’t get on with you anymore doesn’t mean they feel the same way about you and hold a grudge.

It’s never easy to announce a break-up, especially when you’ve been in a relationship for a long time and even more so when you have children. If you want to maintain good relations with your former in-laws, it’s probably because you don’t want your children to find themselves in the middle of “trench warfare”. It’s essential to protect them, because they’re not responsible for your separation. You want them to continue to be close to all the members of their family, both on your side and on the other, and you’re right to do so because they need it.

If you don’t feel comfortable announcing the break-up to your in-laws, let your ex do it – you’ll probably be in a better position to do it with your loved ones. You don’t have to go into all the details and explain from A to Z why you split up. Just say that your relationship was at a standstill and that you didn’t want to cause each other any more pain.

USING YOUR EX-IN-LAWS TO HELP YOU WIN BACK YOUR LOVE?
I mentioned one of the men I accompanied after a break-up above, but I didn’t tell you everything about him. His relationship with his ex-in-laws was so good that he was able to count on their support to help him win back his wife.

Obviously, it wasn’t his ex-wife’s parents who went radio silent or wrote a handwritten letter, but they made their daughter realize just how important this man was, and that she was making a big mistake not wanting to give him a second chance.
Her story is probably different from yours, and it’s not certain that all in-laws do the same thing, but if you make them realize that you’re the one and that their child’s happiness is in your hands, they won’t hesitate to help you pick up the pieces.

So don’t think that your ex-in-laws have to leave your life the second you find yourself single. On the contrary, whether or not you want to get your ex back, it’s perfectly possible to maintain a good relationship with your ex-partner’s parents. Of course, there will be more distance and a lot of communication, but you have to bear in mind that these are your children’s grandparents, and as such you absolutely have to maintain at least a cordial relationship.